Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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