She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
