The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
