Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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