I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
