and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
