Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
being pregnant is like rehab
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
