Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
