i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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