I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
