is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize