Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
