Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
