Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
