S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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