Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
