so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
