I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Randomize