I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
