Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
