If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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