did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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