I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
50% drunk capacity currently
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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