I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
