umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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