My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
