so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
