Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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