While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You left your phone here
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