brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize