I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I think my vagina is haunted
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
