i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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