Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
