So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
