Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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