We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
