he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
