So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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