i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
