my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
