WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
