He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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