wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize