I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
