the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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