dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
