So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize