apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
