Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
