Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
