I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
