That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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