Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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