Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
