She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
