it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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