About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
