I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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