She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
