that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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