i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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