I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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