hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
