after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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