next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
