i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
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