But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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