he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize