my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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