At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
