apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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