He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
