would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
