What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
