I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize