it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize